Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
