For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
