Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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