I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Randomize
