I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
