Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
