my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
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