I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
