So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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