I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
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