OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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