mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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