i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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