Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
