i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
