There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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