I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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