It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
