ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
