Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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