i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
