I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
