so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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