i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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