I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
