Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
