real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
