boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
