if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
