New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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