Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
