How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
His nipple licking is glorious
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