Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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