And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
