I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
