I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
