i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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