They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
