I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
