FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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