friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
