Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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