she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
if only i could text you this smell
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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