Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
