That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
barbara walters just said penis...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
