i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
