I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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