I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
