I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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