Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
