with your own penis?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
