If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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