May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
