do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
